Feather Pistol, by Darby Larson

Feather Pistol

There's enough feathers glued to the pistol already. Cut it out. The thing could fly. Get a broom maybe. The phone is ringing. The whole story is as follows: Gregory dumped Jane for her Janeyness. That is all. Are you listening? Another story happened and went because you weren't listening. There's more feathers on the ground. Get a broom. More stories I will tell the class. Maybe if you'd stop, listen, you'd hear the stories. The end. Don't point that at me. Answer the phone, it's for me. Look at all these feathers. Okay, there's a phone call for me I have to take it. Real quick, here is the story: Gregory dumped Jane. Some details: Gregory loved and dumped Jane and loved her after, but for her Janeyness, no. That is all. Okay. Here is the story: Gregory loved Jane and wanted details which she wouldn't give due to her Janeyness. No. Hand me the phone. Here is the thing: Janeyness fell in love with Gregory inside their respective wombs. Here: Jane and Gregory fell in love and got married and had children and grandchildren and died together and Jane's Janeyness was never an issue because she wouldn't give Gregory details so he loved her and dumped her and loved her more after, happily ever. Hello?